Things that go bump in the night.

Or – the bag of doom!

Say you live in the country. Say you live in a farming community. Say you’re not safe anymore. Because – IT’S THAT TIME again.

You are an innocent homeowner. You’re in the back yard playing with your dog. You hear a car door shut, then the faint chime of the front door. You can’t get around the house quickly because, you’re in the way, way back yard. Then, you hear it. It starts out softly, then reaches an uber high decibel range that makes the dog howl. Maniacal laughter peels out from your front yard. That car door slams and next, you hear tires squealing and gears a bangin’ as they tear out of your yard. You round the corner of the house just in time to catch a glimpse of the perpetrators. What have they done? What possessed them to act like this? Timidly, you approach the porch. No bodies are visible, no burning effigies, nothing. Then, you see that bag. That huge bag from the Bass Pro Shop. Oh no! Could it be? No, no, no, please not this early! You peek inside. Well, that’s that. It’s full. Full to the top. You are a victim of a drive-by squashing. It ain’t purty.

yellow squash and zucchini

The bag-o-doom!

It’s not safe to leave the front porch unprotected anymore. I need to hire a full time guard. I can’t have this, this bag of doom showing up again! You see, I have 16 squash plants of my own. Everyone, EVERYONE, always plants too much squash. It’s an illness.

Just know this – I saw you leave. I know who you are. I saw what you did. I will get my revenge. And it will be sweet. Sweet, like the 12 loaves of zucchini bread I see in my immediate future.

Goat Cheese, Fig & Honey Flatbread

Goat Cheese, Fig & Honey Flatbread

goat cheese fig flatbread

Heaven on a flatbread.

The good people at Stonefire Authentic Flatbreads were kind enough to reward me with some coupons after I submitted a fan picture to their Facebook page. I raced to the store and used those suckers up! Now, I was faced with coming up with a spectacular way to use them. If my family’s lip smacking sounds were any indication, I nailed it. I think you’ll like this offering, too.

Assemble the cast. I am using brown turkey figs you can use whatever you want. Just use fresh not dried.

goat cheese flatbread ingredients

Waiting for good things to happen.

Open the flatbread and remove the sauce. You don’t want to use it for this. I take a sharpie and write – pizza sauce – on it and toss it in the freezer. In about 11 years, I’ll dig that one and all the others out of the bottom of the freezer and throw them away. But, I had good intentions!

Slide the flatbread into a pan.

Stonefire flatbread

Ready for broiling.

If you have a pizza stone, use that. The flatbread is already cooked and browned a little, but we want more color than that. Turn your broiler on and broil both sides of the flatbread until they are toasty brown and crispy. It will only take a couple of minutes per side.

browned flatbread


While that’s toasting, slice the figs into quarters.

Sliced figs

Slice ’em up.

I ended up taking the stems off, too. They were just too woody.

Now, if you are the champ of multi-tasking, go ahead and toast the pine nuts in a dry, non-stick skillet.

toasting the pine nuts

Ready to toast.

If you are like me, do it first thing, so you don’t forget about it, leave the room and run back in when you smell burning nuts! Not that we ever mention that incident……  When they are nice and browned, they’re ready.

Toasted pine nuts


Dot the top of your flatbread with all that goat cheese creaminess.

crumbled goat cheese

Just dotty.

Let it sit a bit to warm up, then smooth it all around.

Spreading warmed goat cheese.

Spread it out.

Cover it completely.

spread goat cheese

All covered.

Next, spread all those figs around on top. If one or two happen to get eaten in the process, we won’t mention it.

goat cheese and figs

Get figgy with it.

Sprinkle the toasted pine nut over it.

pine nuts figs goat cheese

Ready to broil.

I carried mine over to the oven on its pizza pan and then I slid the flatbread on the top oven rack.

Broiling flatbread

Under fire.

Let it broil for around 10 minutes. You want it to brown up a bit more and to let the figs soften. Lift up one edge and slip the pan back under it. If you have a pizza peel, use that! I can’t believe that I don’t have one yet. I am the Queen Of Kitchen Gadgets! Hmm, Mother’s Day is coming up. I see a gift giving option in my future. Anyhow, back to the flatbread.

Slide it out of the oven and set it on a heat proof surface. Drizzle the top with the honey.

goat cheese and fig flatbread

Oh, honey!

Slice it up and enjoy. Great appetizer, brunch item or perfect for any buffet!

goat cheese and fig flatbread

Have a slice!

You know you want some!

goat cheese and fig flatbread



5.0 from 1 reviews
Goat Cheese, Fig & Honey Flatbread
Recipe type: yummy
Cuisine: Easy
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
A tasty balance of sweet and salty, creamy and crunchy, all on a hand held flatbread.
  • 1 Stonefire Flatbread thin pizza crust – reserve sauce packet for another use.
  • 8 oz. fresh figs - sliced into quarters.
  • 4 oz goat cheese – cut or crumbled into cubes.
  • ¼ cup pine nuts – toasted
  • 3 Tablespoons honey for drizzling
  1. Toast pine nuts in a dry nonstick skillet over medium heat until lightly browned.
  2. Preheat broiler on high.
  3. Remove flatbread from wrapper and place on pizza pan*. Broil 4 to 6 inches from heat for 4 to 6 minutes. Remove from broiler, turn flatbread over and broil the other side for an additional 4 to 6 minutes. You want a nice, crispy, browned crust.
  4. While flatbread is broiling, slice figs into quarter sections. Cut the little stems off if needed.
  5. Remove the flatbread from the oven. While still hot, dot with the goat cheese. Once softened, spread out over the surface.
  6. Spread the quartered figs out in an even layer. Sprinkle with toasted pine nuts.
  7. Return to broiler and cook for 5 to 10 minutes, depending on how hot your oven cooks. You want everything to be heated through and the figs to soften slightly. Remove from oven and place on serving platter.
  8. Drizzle with the honey.
  9. Cut into 12 slices and serve!
  10. * NOTE: You may use a pizza stone if you have one. Just remember to preheat the stone at the same time you preheat the broiler. You also can just slide the flatbread directly onto the oven rack.

Goat Cheese, Fig & Honey Flatbread

Portable finger food!